


Shooting the Works

by mischief7manager



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Noir, F/M, Gen, Reverse Big Bang Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-23
Updated: 2016-11-23
Packaged: 2018-09-01 16:50:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8631463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mischief7manager/pseuds/mischief7manager
Summary: "In walked a man, white-haired, in a suit that probably cost more than Vex’s last three paychecks. Given how it clung to his slender frame, she’d say it was worth the money, and she’d be lying if she said it didn’t make her sit up straighter. 'Can I help you?'The man looked at her and blinked. Hair aside, he was young, youthful softness in his face despite the stubble on his jaw and dark circles under his eyes. 'I’m sorry, I’m looking for Detective Byroden?'Vex crossed her arms. 'You’ve found her.'"A handsome man with a mysterious past meets a hardboiled detective in need of a client. Sparks fly. So do bullets.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Critical Role reverse bang, inspired by atleastthreesketchbooks' amazing, amazing art. No spoilers past the Briarwood arc, just a lot of me trying to write noir, and possibly succeeding? Don't think too hard about the setting, is what I'm going for here.
> 
> Enjoy.

[](http://s1250.photobucket.com/user/mischief7manager/media/cr_percalia_noir_zpsakb5zzho.jpg.html) 

 

* * *

 

“If you leave me here," the guy on the floor said, "he'll kill me tomorrow morning."

Parker looked at him. "So you've still got tonight," he said.

- _Dirty Money_ , by Richard Stark

 

* * *

 

It started, like it always does, with a knock on the door.

In her office, Vex’ahlia Byroden took her feet off her desk and folded today’s newspaper. The screaming headline (another murder in the Vasselheim district. Might be worth looking into) glared up at her from next to her cup of coffee, long cold. She took a sip anyway, and winced. Vax had made it for her before he left. He always used too much sugar. “Come in!” she called, setting the cup aside and folding her hands in at least the appearance of professionalism.

The door opened. In walked a man, white-haired, in a suit that probably cost more than Vex’s last three paychecks. Given how it clung to his slender frame, she’d say it was worth the money, and she’d be lying if she said it didn’t make her sit up straighter. “Can I help you?”

The man looked at her and blinked. Hair aside, he was young, youthful softness in his face despite the stubble on his jaw and dark circles under his eyes. “I’m sorry, I’m looking for Detective Byroden?”

Vex crossed her arms. “You’ve found her.” The familiar confusion swept over the man’s face, and Vex grinned. “I take it you weren’t expecting-”

“A lady detective?” The man ran a hand through his hair. The gesture pulled the suit tight against his chest. Not that Vex was looking. “I thought they only had those in radio serials. Or Australia.”

“Yet here I am.” She leaned back in her chair, folded her hands behind her head. “In the flesh. So what can I do for you, Mister…?”

“Percival.”

“Mr. Percival.”

“Just Percival, if you don’t mind.”

Vex cocked her head. “Awfully familiar for a first meeting.”

He flushed, which made her grin even more. “I mean- I’d prefer not to give you my surname, if possible. I, ah- the situation in which I find myself requires… discretion.”

Vex raised her eyebrows. “Well, Just Percival. I’m the soul of discretion, assuming you can pay.” She waited until he nodded, then gestured to the chair in front of the desk. “So. What brings you to my office?”

Percival sat. “I need your help.”

“So I gathered.”

It was a while before he spoke. When he did, it was slowly, like he was thinking through each word before he said it. “I’m looking for a… former associate of mine, who may have information that would be useful to me.”

Vex reached into a drawer, pulled out a notebook and pencil. “Who’s the associate?”

“A woman by the name of Anna Ripley. Dr. Anna Ripley.”

Vex copied the name. “And what’s your association with Dr. Anna Ripley?”

Percival took even longer to answer that time. Vex kept her face neutral. That wasn’t meant to be a trick question. “We worked together,” he said finally. “A long time ago. She has… connections that I do not, and I- My hope is that once I’ve found her, I will be able to… exploit. Those connections.”

Vex raised an eyebrow. “I take it you and the good doctor didn’t part on the best of terms.”

Percival chuckled, although as far as Vex could tell, neither of them thought it was actually that funny. “No. We did not.”

Vex considered. “Alright, then. You know my costs? The hourly rate, and the flat fee upon completion?”

He nodded. “Yes, of course. That’s no trouble.”

Vex tilted her head. “I’m not cheap.”

He smirked. “I wouldn’t have come to you if you were.” He ran a hand through his shock of white hair. The tousling, Vex noted, did nothing to diminish his attractiveness. “There is one condition which you may find… displeasing.”

Vex raised her eyebrows. “Do tell.”

“I trust you will use… whatever channels it is you use to discern Dr. Ripley’s whereabouts, but once you do…” He leaned forward, folding his fingers. “Once you do, I would like to accompany you to speak with her.”

That was interesting. “You want to be personally involved?”

Percival nodded. “Yes, the… history between Dr. Ripley and myself means that I cannot trust the extraction of this information to anyone else.” He nodded at her. “Not even such a rarity as a lady detective.”

Vex kept her expression neutral. “I don’t usually take ride-alongs.”

“I’ll double your payment. Rates and final fee.”

Vex’s eyebrows raised further. “This Dr. Ripley must have some very important connections.”

It was meant to be a leading statement. She could tell Percival took it as such, because he merely smiled, and said, “Yes. She does.”

Vex took another sip of her unpleasant coffee, thinking hard. There were a lot of unknowns here. Percival’s identity, what he wanted from Ripley, where these “connections” would lead. Vex didn’t like unknowns, as a rule. In her line of work, unknowns were what got you and yours killed. Or worse.

But double her payment would go a long way for her and her brother. It’d been a lean couple of months, nothing lucrative since the payout from the Clasp job dried up. With that kind of money, they could fix the broken pipes in the office, pay down some of what they owed to their various contacts of dubious legality, maybe even buy food that actually tasted good for a change.

And, well. She’d see more of Percival, for certain.

Vex stuck her hand across the desk. Percival took it. “Alright, Percival Just Percival,” she said. “You’ve got a deal.”

 

* * *

 

“Are you out of your mind?”

Vex didn’t look up from the papers in front of her. “Oh, probably. What are you referring to this time, brother?”

Vax’ildan strode to a stop in front of her desk. “You’re letting him come along?”

Vex flipped a folder shut and raised an eyebrow at her twin. “You were eavesdropping?”

He scoffed. “If you didn’t want me eavesdropping, you’d put a better lock on the front door.” Vex nodded, conceding the point. The current lock was more a formality than a deterrent, especially to someone with her brother’s skills.

Vax folded his arms. “You’re letting him come along.” It wasn’t a question this time.

Vex sighed, pushing the papers away. “You heard his offer. Was I supposed to turn it down?”

Vax looked unconvinced. “He’s hiding something.”

She rolled her eyes. “Everyone’s hiding something, Vax. If they weren’t, I’d be out of a job.”

His posture softened, and he stepped forward to sit perched on the edge of her desk. “Just… be careful, alright? I don’t like you going into this blind.”

Vex smiled. She reached out and covered his hand with her own. “I will.”

Vax smiled back. “Alright.” He got up, stretching. “And don’t sleep with him, please.” Vex spluttered, and he raised his hands. “I’m just saying, I know your type, but please don’t sleep with your clients, it’s not going to end well.”

Clever of him to get up before he started on this topic. It made it much more difficult for her to smack him. “Hey, the last client I slept with turned out alright.”

Vax arched an eyebrow. “The last client you slept with was Zahra, and at least you knew her last name. He seemed charming enough, but both eyes open, yeah?”

He walked away before she could formulate a comeback. Asshole.

Vex turned her attention back to the stack of folders in front of her. She wouldn’t normally use police files as a starting point for her investigation, but Kima still owed her for her help taking down K’Varn a while back. The sergeant had access to information even Vex’s numerous contacts didn’t.

This proved less useful than hoped over the next few hours as Vex sifted through the information on Dr. Anna Ripley. There wasn’t much. Medical degree, spent a few years practicing, implicated in a few cases around the Briarwood crime empire but never charged, before she vanished a few years after their rise to power. Few allies, fewer known associates.

Vex sighed, flipping the last folder shut. Well, if official channels failed, it was time to turn to unofficial ones. She pushed back from her desk, grabbed her coat, then paused. Next to the stack of folders was a note in Percival’s handwriting: a telephone number where she could contact him.

She looked at the note. Percival had asked to come with her once she’d found Ripley. This would be the first step, certainly, but likely one of many. He might not want to be dragged along for something that might not turn up any results.

On the other hand, throwing him in the deep end of her unsavory associates had a certain undeniable appeal.

Vex picked up the phone. “Percival? This is Detective Byroden. Would you like to accompany me this evening? I’m chasing down a lead…”

 

* * *

 

Percival stepped out of the cab. The address Detective Byroden had given him was in the center of the market district, the city’s hub of sale and trade. It was quiet now, streetlamps casting long shadows from the few people still roaming the streets, the light illuminating scattered patches of smoke and fog. He pulled his coat tighter around his throat against the creeping evening chill. Despite his years of residence in the city, some nights he couldn’t shake the feeling of the cold seeping into his bones.

“There you are.”

He turned. Detective Byroden stood under a streetlamp, illuminated in the soft yellow glow. Her coat fell to her ankles, covering whatever she might be wearing underneath, and her dark hair spilled over her shoulders from beneath the brim of her hat. The cool night air had brought a flush to her cheeks, and she stood hip cocked, head tilted, looking at him.

Later, if pressed, Percival would give that as the moment where he got in over his head.

“Detective Byroden.” He walked over, hands in his pockets. “I must confess, I find myself somewhat bemused at the choice in rendezvous point.”

She snorted. “Vex’ahlia, please. Detective Byroden makes me sound like a professional. And trust me, Percival-” She winked. “There’s more to this place than meets the eye.”

She sauntered up next to him and offered her arm. “Shall we?”

After a moment, he looped his arm through hers. “Lead on, Vex’ahlia.” He swallowed down the smile that tried to form around her name. This was no time to mix business with pleasure, though truth be told, he’d had little of either these past years.

He turned his thoughts from the warm body pressed against his side and towards the storefront before them. It was closed for the night, but the marquee was still clearly visible, bright purple paint spelling out “Gilmore’s Glorious Goods” in elegant script. Vex’ahlia led them around the back of the building. “Give me a minute,” she said, pulling her arm free and walking forward. A figure leaned against the wall next to a door, illuminated only by the glowing tip of their cigarette.

“Sherry!” Vex’ahlia said brightly. “Looking well, as always. Is that a new haircut I see, it works wonderfully on you, darling.”

The figure straightened, flicked the ash from the cigarette off to the side. “What do you want, Byroden?” The voice was female, and exasperated.

“Is he in tonight?” Vex leaned against the wall by one arm. “I’m looking for someone and, well. He knows everyone.”

“He does.” Sherry stepped forward, giving Percival a look at her face. She was middle-aged, perhaps, no-nonsense, and she gave him a very suspicious glance over. “Who’s he?”

Vex’ahlia smirked. “Let’s call him an interested party.” Sherry glared, and Vex’ahlia pursed her lips. “I’ll vouch for him, alright?”

Sherry’s eyebrows rose. “Very well, then.” She reached out and knocked on the door, an intricate rhythm that Percival couldn’t quite catch. After a moment, the door opened, smoky light spilling out into the alleyway.

Vex’ahlia pushed off the wall. “Charming as ever, Sherry.” She held her arm out once more. “Percival?”

He took her arm. “Where exactly are you taking me?” he said, pitched low.

Vex’ahlia grinned. “You asked for information,” she said, pulling him towards the door. “And if you need information in this city, and you have-” She hummed, thoughtful. “Looser morals, shall we say, you come to Gilmore’s.”

Percival’s indecision must have shown on his face, because Vex’ahlia patted his arm. “Don’t worry, darling,” she said, and he hoped the flush he felt at the nickname didn’t show on his face, “I’m sure you’ll blend right in.”

And she walked him through the door.

 

* * *

 

Watching Percival walk into the speakeasy under Gilmore’s shop for the first time, Vex was certain, was a memory she would cherish for the rest of her days.

She’d been to Gilmore’s countless times herself, and she could admit, it was still a shock to her system. After the relative quiet of the grey evening streets, stepping into Gilmore’s haven of lights and sounds felt like entering another world. Dancing figures twirled through the open space, brightly colored clothes whirling through hazes of cigarette smoke. Laughter and chatter echoed from the tables lining the edges of the room. At the far side, a band played on a raised platform, in the center of which stood a short man crooning into a microphone. The air was thick with the smell of tobacco, alcohol, and spice.

Vex stood for a moment and watched as Percival’s eyes got wider. And wider. And wider. She grinned. “Welcome to Gilmore’s,” she said, and laughed aloud at the expression on his face. “Come on. I could use a drink.”

Still holding his arm, she tugged him towards the bar at the side of the dance floor. “Keyleth!”

The bartender turned, tucking a long strand of red hair behind her ear. “Vex, hello! I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever, hi!” Keyleth leaned across the bar to pull Vex into a quick hug. “You haven’t been in in ages!”

“Sorry, darling,” Vex said. “Work’s been keeping me busy.”

“I can tell.” Keyleth put on a pout. “I hardly even see Vax anymore, and he doesn’t even officially work for you.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault my brother’s been neglecting his beautiful, loving, charming, wonderful-”

“Alright, alright,” Keyleth cut her off, giggling. “Who’s your friend?”

Percival opened his mouth, but Vex beat him to it. “This is Percy. He’s new in town, asked if I could show him anything exciting.”

Keyleth laughed, high and clear. “You’ve come to the right place. What can I get you?”

“Whiskey, neat, for me, and…” She turned over her shoulder, flashing Percival a grin. “Whatever Percy wants.”

Keyleth turned to Percival expectantly. He cleared his throat. “Ah, the same for me, as well, please.” Keyleth smiled and moved down the bar, taking other orders as she went.

Percival leaned over, having to speak nearly in Vex’s ear to be heard over the music. “Did we just order moonshine?”

Vex pulled away, a hand pressed dramatically over her chest. “Percival! How dare you! A fine establishment such as this would never cater to any illegal activity, for _shame_.”

Percy cocked an eyebrow at her. “So the whiskey is…?”

She grinned. “Medicinal, of course.” Keyleth swept back over, placing two tumblers on the bar in front of them. Vex winked at her and picked them up, handing one over to Percy.

He took it, gingerly. Vex raised her glass and clinked it against his. “To gathering information.”

Percy raised his glass. “To new allies.” A hint of a smile played over his face before he raised the whiskey to his lips and took a sip.

Vex waited for him to spit it out. Gilmore’s home brews, while delicious, were also nearly capable of stripping wallpaper. It had taken her years to build up her current tolerance. To her delight, however, Percy took a slug from the glass and swallowed it down with no trouble. He placed the glass on the bar and wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand. “Strong stuff,” he said.

Vex nodded, trying to focus on anything but the memory of Percy’s lips closing over the glass and his throat working as he drank. “Come on,” she said, knocking back her own whiskey. “There’s someone you need to meet.”

Vex stepped onto the dance floor, moving in time with the music to make her way through the dancing couples. Percy followed, his presence a constant warmth at her back, distinct even in the heated press of bodies. They reached the stage just as the music built to a roaring climax, and the room burst into applause.

The diminutive singer bowed. “Thank you, all! Another round for Dr. Dranzel and his Spectacular Traveling Troupe!” The crowd cheered again as the band took their bows. “I’m Scanlan Shorthalt,” the singer went on, “and I’ll be here all night, so relax, order another round. Be back in a moment.”

He winked and hopped off the stage, landing right in front of Vex and Percy. “Vex’ahlia!” He spread his arms in a showman’s stance. “It’s been too long, what brings you to this bed of sin and iniquity?” He raised a suggestive eyebrow. “You’re not finally taking me up on my offer, are you? Because there’s a room in the back I _know_ is vacant right-”

“Not a chance, Scanlan.” Vex cut him off, shoving his shoulder. “I’m here on business. You seen Gilmore tonight?”

Scanlan nodded and jerked a thumb towards a door next to the stage. “He’s with your brother, holding court. Jarrett brought in another shipment, so everyone’s in high spirits.”

“Excellent.” Vex ruffled Scanlan’s hair, just to watch him squawk. “See you round, yeah?”

“At least stick around for the next set?” Scanlan said, patting down his hair. “The good Doctor and I have been working on some new sounds, it’s gonna be something.”

“Oh, I’m sure it will,” Vex said, “but we’ve got words to have with the boss. Bye, darling!” She gave Scanlan a wave and took Percy’s arm, pulling him towards the door.

“When he said shipments…” Percy trailed off, eyebrow raised.

“Oh, don’t worry,” Vex said brightly. “It’s nothing to do with us.”

“That’s not really as reassuring as you think it is.” But she could hear the amusement in his voice.

Vex lead them through the door and down a narrow hallway. At the end was another door, and in front of that was a large man, idly flipping a knife end over end in the air. “Hello, Grog,” Vex called. “Is my brother back there?”

Grog caught the knife and pocketed. “Yeah, ‘course. You can head on back, if you like, I think they’re done with business for the evening.” He looked from her to Percy. “Who’s he?”

Vex pulled Percy closer, looping her arm through his. “He’s with me.”

Grog’s eyes narrowed. “Vex…”

She rolled her eyes. “Look, I already vouched for him with Sherry, cut the intimidation act. Would you just let us in, please?”

Grog huffed. “Fine, but if he fucks shit up, I’m blaming you.” He stepped aside.

“ _Thank_ you.” Vex opened the door and led Percy through.

If the main room of Gilmore’s was riotous sound and color, the back room was subtle to the extreme. The lights were low, dimly illuminating the silks and satins of the cushions and wall hangings. The only furniture could best be characterized as lounges, scattered around and occupied by persons and couples too darkly lit to be distinguishable. In the center, draped across a particularly magnificent chaise, was Gilmore, one hand gently carding through the long dark hair of Vax, who sat on the floor, head resting against the cushion, eyes closed. It all gave the appearance of decadence and easy leisure, but Vex knew, and could see Percy’s eyes finding as well, that there were at least half a dozen armed men and women placed strategically throughout the room. And for all their lazy affectation, both Gilmore and Vax’s gazes locked onto Vex and Percy as soon as they entered the room.

“Vex’ahlia!” Gilmore sat up, graceful as ever, and extended a hand. Vex took it and allowed herself to be pulled in. He kissed her on both cheeks. “My darling, it’s been far too long. What brings you in? Don’t tell me it’s time to retrieve your brother already, Keyleth did promise she’d share.”

Vex grinned. “No, please, keep him as long as you like, I’ve no interest.” Vax flipped her off. She ignored him. “Actually, I’m here on behalf of my friend. Percy, this is Shaun Gilmore.”

Gilmore reached out to shake Percy’s hand. “Charmed, I’m sure. What can I do for you, Percy?”

Vax was trying to catch Vex’s eye. She ignored him. “Is there somewhere we could talk, Gilmore? A little more privately?” She patted Gilmore’s hand. “No offense to you or your people, of course, but Percy’s business is his own, and-”

“Of course, of course.” Gilmore snapped his fingers.

Immediately, the room began to clear. Vex glanced at Percy. His expression was neutral, but there was a tightness around his eyes that she gathered was surprise at the sudden display of power. That was to be expected. Gilmore’s lifeblood was surprising people.

Last to rise was Vax. He stood, and leaned over to press a kiss to Gilmore’s lips. “I’ll be out with Keyleth,” he said. He straightened, and finally caught Vex’s eye. “If you need me.” And he swept out, glaring daggers at Percy as he did.

Gilmore gestured to the seats around him. “Please, sit.” They did, Vex sinking into the plush cushions with slightly more ease than Percy. “What’s on your mind?”

Percy glanced at Vex. She gave him a nod. He straightened and took a deep breath. “I’m… looking for someone. Someone who is proving hard to find, and according to Vex’ahlia,” he nodded at her, “you are the person to come to in these… situations.”

Gilmore tilted his head. “I’m flattered.”

Vex smirked. “It’s true.”

He grinned at her. “Of course it’s true, but it’s still flattering.” Gilmore steepled his fingers in front of him. “Who are you trying to find?”

Vex looked at Percy. “A woman, goes by Dr. Anna Ripley.” When Gilmore didn’t respond, she went on. “She used to run with the Briarwoods?”

The color drained from Gilmore’s face. “Oh, Vex’ahlia,” he said, his voice soft and serious. “What have you gotten yourself into now?”

“You know where she is?” Vex looked over. Percy was sitting forward, hands braced on his knees. There was something in his face. A hunger, maybe. Something that sent a shiver down her spine.

Gilmore nodded, slowly. “After what happened when the Briarwoods came to power, I kept tabs on their people. Especially the ones that fled to my part of the city. But, Vex-” He shook his head. “You’re good at what you do, don’t get me wrong, but. Even sniffing around the Briarwoods has an alarming tendency to get people killed.” His eyes flicked sideways to Percy, just for a second. “You sure you want to get involved in this?”

Vex swallowed. “Like you said.” She looked at Percy, then away. “I’m good at what I do. And more importantly, I’m getting paid for it, so.” She clapped her hands together, rubbed them briskly. “What can you tell me about Anna Ripley?”

Gilmore looked at her for a long moment. “Alright.” He reached into an inside pocket of his jacket and pulled out a pencil and notepad, scribbling something down. “She’s been keeping an apartment across the river. False name, of course, but.” He chuckled, once. “She’d have to get up earlier in the morning to fool my people.”

He tore the paper loose and held it towards Vex. She took it, but he held on. “You will be careful, won’t you, Vex?” His tone was light, but Vex knew Gilmore well enough to hear the genuine concern underneath. “Your brother’s no fun when he’s worried.”

Vex grinned and tugged the paper free. “Don’t worry, dear. I’m sure you and Keyleth will have him well in hand.” She stood. “Thank you.”

Gilmore rose and gave her a hug. “Anytime, darling.” He nodded at Percy. “A pleasure to meet you, Percy.”

Percy nodded back. “Likewise.” He spoke shortly, a tension in him Vex hadn’t heard before.

Vex took his arm. “We’ll see ourselves out.” And she pulled Percy towards the door, Gilmore’s far too knowing gaze burning at her back.

 

* * *

 

Percy crossed his arms. His head tilted. “You know,” he said, consternation creeping in, “when you said you were bringing backup, this isn’t quite what I had in mind.”

Vex stifled a grin. Staring up at Percy, head cocked, was Trinket, his big brown eyes bright and curious. “Trinket’s the best backup there is. Aren’t you, boy?”

Trinket barked, his enormous furry tail wagging furiously.

Percy’s brows raised further. “He seems a bit… friendly, for backup. Don’t you think?”

Vex scritched behind Trinket’s ears. His eyes closed happily, head butting against her fingers. “Don’t worry, darling,” she said, keeping her gaze on her contentedly panting dog, “that’s just ‘cause he likes you.”

She heard Percy clear his throat. “That’s… reassuring, I suppose.” She looked up in time to watch him push his glasses up his nose and drop his shoulders back. “Shall we?”

Vex straightened. “If you’re ready.”

It was two days after their evening at Gilmore’s. Percy had wanted to go after Ripley right away, but Vex had talked him down. Gilmore’s people were good, but they weren’t her people, and she’d wanted to make sure for herself that Ripley was where she was supposed to be. Anyone capable of spooking Gilmore deserved to be handled with caution.

So they’d waited. Vex’s connections had sniffed around and reported that a woman matching Ripley’s description was renting the top floor of a high rise apartment building in the Cloudtop district--the rich people part of town. Vex would’ve thought laying low after fleeing a crime empire would entail- well, laying low, but apparently Dr. Anna Ripley had expensive tastes.

Vax was around the block in a cafe. He had his orders: if Vex wasn’t out in one hour, he was to go in after her. And if Keyleth didn’t hear from Vax in two hours, she was to let Gilmore know they were in over their heads. Vex hoped Gilmore’s affection for her brother would be enough to outweigh his annoyance at getting called in like an errand boy, but she couldn’t see that she had another choice. Vax was already furious that she hadn’t allowed him to go into the apartment with them, but Vex didn’t want to risk spooking Ripley and sending her on the run. Gilmore’s information was a windfall, one they couldn’t count on happening twice.

“Vex’ahlia?”

Vex shook herself from her thoughts and took Percy’s proffered arm. “Here we go,” she said, a smile creeping across her face in spite of herself. Dangerous? Of course. But if she didn’t get off on danger, just a little bit, she'd have found herself a new line of work.

They were dressed to fit the part: Percy in an elegant suit, Vex in the sort of slinky dress that looked like it covered nothing while also allowing her to carry nearly half a dozen weapons covertly on her person. Even Trinket had been groomed for the occasion. Vex had gone over the cover with Percy: they were a wealthy couple, coming in after a long night of drinking, and if anyone tried to call them out on going where they shouldn’t, let Vex do the talking.

It was a solid plan. Vex leaned into Percy’s shoulder, letting some giggles escape as they staggered through the door to the building. He tipped his head down, looking for all the world like a doting paramour. She let herself grin up at him, wider and more genuine than she had any right to.

Hey, live the cover, right?

They made their way through the lobby, Trinket trotting by Vex’s side. When they approached the elevator, a man stepped in front of it. Vex looked him over, drunk-silly grin still on her face. He was large, well-muscled, with lumps under his jacket in the places she knew meant guns. “What do you want?” he said, rough and uninviting.

Vex batted her eyelashes at him. “Oh, hello, there, darling.” She took a step forward and stumbled, leaning heavily on Percy. “We were just on our way home. Long night, you know.”

The man didn’t move. “I don’t know you.”

She winked, exaggeratedly large. “We’re new to the building. D’you mind?”

She stepped forward again, and this time the man held out a massive hand. “Nobody comes in here I don’t know. Move on, lady, if you know what’s good for you.”

Vex took a breath, ready to turn up the charm, as had worked for her so frequently before, but Percy stepped up next to her. He stood straight, the pretense of drunkenness gone.

“My name is Percival Frederickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III,” he said, voice crisp and even. “I’d like to speak with your employer, please.”

Vex stared. So did the guard. Then he stepped aside, and pushed a button to open the elevator. Percy stepped through, and Vex, instinctively, followed.

The doors closed. The elevator began moving, slowly, upward. Percy stared at the closed doors. Vex stared at Percy.

“De Rolo?” she said, finally.

He took a deep breath. “Yes.” He opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again. “I am- sorry I didn’t tell you before. You understand, I couldn’t…”

“The de Rolos died.” Vex’s voice sounded harsh in her own ears, but she couldn’t bring herself to lighten it. “All of them, when the Briarwoods moved in on their territory. They went legal, and then they died.”

Percy’s mouth quirked in a wretched imitation of a smile. “Not all of them,” he said.

Before she could formulate a response to that, the doors opened. Percy’s arm moved, as though starting to reach out to her, but he let it drop back to his side. “Stay close,” was all he said, and then he stepped out of the elevator.

Vex took a deep breath. “Come on, Trinket,” she said, feeling Trinket’s cold nose press against her fingers.

And she followed.

 

* * *

 

Vex was no stranger to wealth. She may not have any of her own, but she knew it when she saw it. Gilmore, for instance, was wealthy, and made no secret of it, but he put his wealth toward comfort and beauty. Everything he owned, he owned because he liked it. It brought him pleasure.

Everything in Anna Ripley’s apartment seemed owned with one purpose: to intimidate. The walls were hung with large paintings in gilt frames, looming over her as she moved. What limited furniture there was stood unused, all sleek lines and hard surfaces. The carpet beneath Vex’s feet was so lush she was almost afraid to step on it, for fear of ruining it somehow.

And then there were the occupants. At a brief glance, Vex counted half a dozen guards, all of the same build as the one downstairs, all eyes trained on their… guests? Intruders? Vex felt a hysterical giggle building in her throat and choked it down. They were _so_ not prepared for this, they should get out now, they should-

“Percival.” The voice was low, almost sultry, and it came from across the open room. Behind an ornate wooden desk sat a woman. Dark haired, although greying, dark eyed, and a slow grin spreading across her face. “How unexpected.”

“Hello, Anna.” There was no expression in Percy’s voice, nor, Vex saw as she stepped forward, on his face. “I’ve been looking for you.”

“ _Have_ you?” Ripley stood, walking out from behind the desk. “All this time? And what, pray tell, do you intend to do now that you’ve found me?”

A muscle in Percy’s jaw twitched. That was all the warning Vex got before Percy reached into his jacket and pulled out a pistol, aiming it directly at Ripley’s head.

Every guard in the room drew a gun and pointed it at Percy. Vex took a step closer to him, instinctively glancing around for an exit. Only Ripley didn’t react, her expression as mild and pleasant as if Percy had just offered her tea. “Really, Percival? I’ll be honest, I expected more of you.”

Percy cocked the pistol, and Ripley rolled her eyes. “You won’t kill me.”

“Won’t I?” Percy’s aim was steady. “Whyever not?”

Ripley sighed. “Two things. One, if you pull that trigger, both you and your lovely companion will be dead before I hit the ground.” Her gaze flicked over Vex, dismissive, then back to Percy. “You may hold little regard for your own life, but can you say the same for hers?”

She paused to let that sink in. Percy’s expression didn’t change. “And the second thing?”

Ripley smiled. “I can give you Anders.”

Percy’s eyes narrowed. “And in exchange?”

Ripley shrugged. “You put the gun down, for starters.” She leant back against the desk and crossed her arms, eyebrows raised.

Percy lowered the gun. Ripley smiled. “That’s what I thought.” She walked back around the desk and opened a drawer, pulling out a glass and a bottle. She poured out a healthy measure of some dark liquid and took a sip. “How did you find me, by the way?”

Percy remained silent. Vex stepped forward. “He asked me.”

Ripley set the glass down. “Ah, yes. Vex’ahlia Byroden, daughter of Syldor Vessar and sister to Vax’ildan, whom I imagine is somewhere nearby, poised to rush to your rescue.” Vex’s blood ran cold. It must have shown on her face, because Ripley chuckled. “Don’t imagine you’re the only one who did a little digging. Tell me, how much did Percival here actually share with you when he hired you? Anything? Or did he just offer you money and wait for you to jump?”

“What do you want, Anna?”

Ripley’s attention turned from Vex back to Percy, and Vex nearly staggered from the lifting weight. “Safe passage out of the city,” Ripley said. She picked up her glass, swirling its contents idly. “I grow bored here. And apparently, I’ve become rather… easy to find.” She smirked at Percy. “After all, if _you_ could do it.”

“And you’ll give me Anders.” Percy’s gaze remained locked on Ripley.

Her head tilted. “I’ll tell you where he is.” She smiled. “What you do with that information, of course, is entirely up to you.”

Percy considered. “You give me the information I need,” he said. “You tell me where Anders is, who he has with him, what he’s planning.”

“And you won’t shoot me?” Amusement colored Ripley’s voice as she took another drink.

“I’ll let you leave the city,” Percy said. Vex, standing next to him, felt his hand begin to shake. “And we both know what you can do with that head start.”

A long moment of silence passed.

Ripley grinned, all teeth and predatory intent. “Very well,” she said. “We have a deal.”

She stretched out an elegant hand. Nobody in the room moved, until, slowly, Percy stepped forward, and shook it.

“Wonderful,” Ripley said. She stepped back and snapped her fingers. A goon melted out of the shadows and helped her into a coat. “Now,” she said as she began doing up the buttons, “I have a car waiting behind the building.”

“We’re not going anywhere with you.” Vex put a hand on Percy’s wrist, her voice ringing harsh and overloud.

She didn’t know why she reached for him in that moment. If Ripley tried to take him by force, there was surely little Vex could do, surrounded as they were. But she felt Percy lean into the touch, and she squeezed his wrist, ever so little, just the same.

Ripley laughed. “Of course not. But I need a guarantee that darling Percival here isn’t going to try and double-cross me.” She finished buttoning the coat and straightened. “I’ll give you what you want, Percival. Don’t worry.”

Percy twitched in Vex’s grasp. “Alright, then,” she said, letting her voice fill with the false bravado that she leaned on in times like these, “lead the way.”

Ripley smiled. “With pleasure.” She snapped her fingers again, and two of the goon squad stepped forward to take places at her shoulders. Two more did the same for Vex and Percy. “Off we go,” Ripley said, that same wicked grin splitting her face.

Vex tilted her head. “Trinket.”

From her side, the enormous dog, sitting quiet til this point, stood.

Vex glanced down at him. “Watch her.”

A low rumble filled the room as Trinket’s hackles raised. His lips peeled back, all evidence of the friendly mutt gone as he revealed very large, very sharp teeth. He growled, and Vex felt a spark of satisfaction as Ripley’s eyes widened. Just a little, but they did.

The ride in the elevator was one of the most excruciatingly tense experience of Vex’s life. And really, that was saying something. Only the feeling of Percy’s wrist kept her anchored in the moment. They were nowhere near the time Vax would come in after them, so no reinforcements. Just her, Percy, and Trinket. Not the worst odds she’d ever had, perhaps, but certainly close.

The elevator doors opened. Ripley led them through a basement tunnel and out a delivery entrance into a grimy back alley. A very expensive-looking car idled next to the building. Vex stepped closer to Percy, resisting the urge to wrap her arms around herself in the late night cold.

Ripley stopped in front of the car. Percy stopped in front of Ripley. “Tell me what I need to know,” he said.

Ripley tilted her head. “You know,” she said, voice light and airy and sending shivers down Vex’s spine, “I don’t think I will.” She opened the car door and got in, then looked over at one of the goons. “Kill the girl and the mutt. Bring Percival to me.” And she pulled the door shut, and the car began to pull away.

Vex had less than a second to complete the following chain of thoughts: _She double-crossed us; of course she did, this was the stupidest possible plan; we’re outnumbered and outmatched; I can’t let her take him_ . Then the nearest goon to her was drawing a gun, and the only thought in her head was: _Don’t let them kill you._

_Kill them first._

Vex pulled out the knife from the sheath strapped to her garter and thrust it into the goon’s chest. She placed it perfectly between his ribs, just as Vax had taught her, and he coughed and spluttered before falling to his knees. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Percy grab the arm of another man aiming a gun at her and twist. The crack of the gunshot tore through Vex’s ears, but the shot went wide. From her side, Trinket leapt at a third guard, paws hitting the man’s chest with twin thuds as the momentum carried them both to the ground. The guard let out a choking scream, which was quickly drowned out by Trinket’s growls as he went to work, protecting his mistress. Percy turned and Vex ducked instinctively, one hand dropping to the ground to brace herself as Percy’s arm swung overhead, pistol in hand, to fire at another rapidly approaching guard. That was three down, but there were more, and more coming, she couldn’t see how many. She straightened, reaching for her own concealed pistol, when another thunderous shot rang out and Percy staggered against her side.

“Percy?” He didn’t answer. She turned. He leaned against her, one hand pressed against the rapidly growing red stain spreading just under his ribs. “Shit, shit. Hold on.” She ducked under his arm again, taking his weight. “Hold on, we just- We can-” She looked around, searching for an escape, but all she saw was more guards closing in, and she bit down on a hysterical giggle.

Of all the places for her to die.

An engine roared. A familiar dull green car whipped around the corner of the alley, slamming into one goon and sending the rest scattering out of the way, before screeching to a halt next to Vex. The passenger door opened, and Vax leaned out. “Get in!”

Vex dragged Percy to the car, her blood-slick fingers fumbling with the handle. Vax pulled his door shut but leaned out the open window just long enough to hurl a knife at a nearby guard. From the cry of pain, Vex guessed he found his target. She yanked her door open and shoved Percy into the backseat. With a piercing whistle, she called Trinket, who jumped in. She scrambled in after him, snapping her foot back to kick at the guard trying to grab her leg. She felt the satisfying crunch of bone as she connected with his nose, and then the car was moving, tearing out of the alley as quickly as it had come.

Vex scrabbled to close the door, then sank back into the seat. “How did you-”

Vax twisted from the front. “I had a hunch things might not go as smooth as you’d hoped.” His gaze flickered from the blood on Vex’s hands, to the blood on Trinket’s muzzle, to the blood on Percy’s torso. “I figured having a getaway driver ready might come in handy.

There was a flash of red hair from the driver’s seat as Keyleth leaned over. “Are you okay?” She kept her eyes on the road, navigating them through back alleys and side streets, but her voice shook with worry.

“I’m fine.” She took a deep, steadying breath. “Percy?”

He shifted, bracing himself against the seat as he sat up. “I’m alright.” His arm was still pressed tight against his side. “I’m afraid your friend’s upholstery may not be salvageable, however.”

Vex chuckled, the relief at hearing him able to joke like a physical weight lifting from her chest. “It’s alright. We’re well used to getting blood out of fabric.” She reached out and buried a hand in Trinket’s fur. “We do need to get that looked at, however.”

Percy’s face, if it was possible, drained of even more color. “No hospitals. I can’t-”

“It’s alright.” Vex leaned over Trinket to place her hand on Percy’s shoulder. “It’s alright.” She glanced up at her brother, watching them both with his brow furrowed. “We know someone who can help."

 

* * *

 

Pike Trickfoot lived in a small house on the outskirts of the city. Most of her time was spent devoted to her patients, but if you were one of a select few, you could arrange for a less formal, after hours appointment.

If you were Vex and company, you showed up bleeding on her doorstep in the middle of the night.

Pike looked them over, sighed, and called over her shoulder. “Grog! Get my bag!” She eyed Percy and added, “And the whiskey!”

Percy chuckled. “Is that the answer to all of your problems?” He swayed as he leaned on Vex’s shoulder.

“Nope!” Pike said brightly. “But I don’t have any actual painkillers at the moment, so it’ll have to do.” She stepped aside, brow furrowing slightly as Vex helped Percy into her front room.

“Pikey-pants!” Scanlan stuck his head out into the hallway. “Grog wants to know if we’re stilll on for poker or--Who are you?” He blinked at the sight of them all in the doorway.

Percy straightened. As best he could. “My name is Percival Frederickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III.”

“You can call him Percy,” Vax said. “Apparently,” he added, shooting Vex a telling look.

Pike looked from Vax, to Vex, to Keyleth, before settling on the injured man. “Alright, Percy,” she said. “Let’s get you fixed up.”

Half an hour and several shots of whiskey later, Pike tied off the last stitch in Percy’s side. “There we are,” she said, stepping back and pulling off her gloves. “You’re lucky it was a graze. A few inches over and you could’ve had some serious problems.”

Percy snorted. “Heaven forbid.” He rose from his stool. “Thank you.”

Pike smiled. “Any friend of theirs is a friend of mine.”

“Yes, yes, we’re all friends here,” Vax said, impatience rising in his voice, “and I think your _friends_ would like an explanation, if you _don’t_ mind.”

Grog piped up from his spot behind Pike. “Yeah, not that it’s not, y’know, a fun night, watching Pike poke holes in someone,” he said, grinning, “but I usually know why she’s doing it. And who she’s doing it for. And how they got hurt, and stuff.”

Percy sighed. He pulled his tattered shirt back over his shoulders, wincing as it tugged at his stitches. Vex kept her eyes on his face (where they’d stayed the entire time Pike stitched him up, thank you) as he slowly did up the buttons. “It’s a long story,” he said, “and not a very happy one, I’m afraid.”

“Try me.” Vax’s tone brooked no argument. Vex shot him a look, which he ignored, and honestly, she couldn’t blame him, really. He hadn’t signed up to get shot at.

She hadn’t signed up to get shot at either, but she didn’t care about that so much.

Percy sighed and sat down on Pike’s slightly battered couch. “What do you know about the de Rolo crime family?” he asked.

It was Scanlan, leaning against the doorframe, who answered. “Used to be one of the best in the game, til old man Frederick decided to go straight. He got hitched, his lady popped out a bunch of babies, and they dropped off the grid.” Everyone turned to stare at him, and he shrugged. “What? I know things.”

“They dropped off the grid,” Vax said, after a pause, “until the Briarwoods moved in on their territory. Slaughtered the whole family in one night.”

Percy smiled, without mirth. “Yes, well. Not quite all.”

The story that Percy told was, indeed, not a happy one. Vex watched as her friends’ eyes widened and their expressions darkened, as Percy spoke of the betrayal of his family, his own torture and escape, his hunt for vengeance on those that had taken everything from him. She could see the moment when each of them, individually, made the same choice she had, and she bit down on a smile. Criminals and thugs, the lot of them, but damned if they weren’t the best people she knew.

“...I knew I couldn’t find Ripley on my own,” Percy said, his tale drawing to a close, “so.” He looked up and met Vex’s eyes for the first time since they arrived. “I came to you.”

She smiled. “Good thing you did, darling,” she said, not even bothering to stop the endearment. “You’d be dead otherwise.”

Percy flushed. “Yes, I supposed I would.” He smiled, small, but there. “Thank you.”

Vex let the smile settle just under her ribs, then turned to the rest of the group. “So. What now?”

Vax sighed. “Well, there’s Anders, for one.”

Keyleth nodded. “You said he was still in the city?”

Vex shook her head. “Ripley just said she knew where he was, but-”

“You-” Percy looked from Vex, to the others, and back. “You don’t have to get involved in this.”

“Oh, we are _so_ involved,” she said.

Next to her, Vax snorted. “Getting shot at might be par for the course for you, Freddy, but I tend to take that kind of thing rather personally.” He smirked. “You don’t really have a choice in the matter.”

Keyleth nodded. “Yeah, I take people I care about getting shot at personally, too. Kind of a thing, for me.”

Grog smacked his fist into his open hand. “There’s gonna be some good action getting a hold of this Anders, yeah?”

Scanlan grinned. “A good story, for sure.”

Pike smiled. “And, I mean, I’d hate to see you rip open those stitches, after I put all that work in, and everything.”

Vex grinned. “We’ve got your back, darling.”

She watched Percy’s eyes move over each member of the group. She could see the disbelief, and her heart clenched at it, that he’d been alone for so long that he couldn’t understand help when it was offered. She watched him take in each person before him, ready to fight with him, until his gaze came to rest, again, on Vex.

Percy smiled. “Alright,” he said. “Where do we start?”

 

* * *

 

 _“to shoot the works”:_ _to risk everything on one throw; or, to tell the whole truth._

**Author's Note:**

> me: also if we're doing this classic noir style, iin terms of roles in the narrative, vex is bogart and percy is bacall
> 
> me: which delights me
> 
> my sister: that is delightful, yes


End file.
